Christmas Fever

I admit it! I absolutely love the Christmas season more than any other season, and for more than just the lights, ribbons, caroling, thoughts of being with family and the giving and receiving of gifts. As the clouds accumulate and the temperature drops, I get giddy with anticipation of the first snowfall. I’ll tell you why. A couple of years ago I was living on campus and working at the Seminary Information office. One night it snowed leaving a velvety blanket of soft powder on the dormant tree limbs and ground. During the wee hours of the morning I walked across campus to work and was amazed at the beauty I saw. I stood silent in the center of the field and lifted my gaze to the sky. It was dark with the exception of a full moon and the stars twinkling in the distance. The silence was almost deafening except for the soft clinking of crystal as the snow hit the ground. I felt like I was the only person in the world and for a brief moment felt the weight of the sinfulness of mankind. I realized again, as if for the first time, what an amazing God we have. As winter covers the lifeless earth so Christ covers us with his forgiveness and love, creating us anew and bringing Spring into the hearts of those who receive Him as Lord. I knew with certainty that if I was the only person in the world that God would send His son Christ Jesus to bring me back into a right relationship with Him. I sank to the ground and thanked God for his faithfulness.
Being so far from family and not having a lot of money to purchase gifts for my loved ones, It was a gynormous reminder of who this season and every season should be celebrating. Immanuel– God with us. Merry Christmas to you and your families! May you realize the true reason for this season.

Can my failure to worship God diminish his glory?

REFUSAL TO WORSHIP
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the walls of his cell. But God wills our good, and our good is to love Him (with that responsive love proper to creatures) and to love Him we must know Him: and if we know Him, we shall in fact fall on our faces.

—C. S. Lewis, THE PROBLEM OF PAIN, Chapter 3, "Divine Goodness," New York: Macmillan Company, 1948, p. 41. Modern edition—HarperSanFrancisco, 2001, ISBN 0060652969.


Recently I realized that my quiet times or devotionals have been lacking. I have not been intentional about cultivating my relationship with God. A friend of mine whom I used to mentor recently reminded me. It was a simple reminder but not all enlightenment has to be deep and mysterious. Sometimes the simpliest reminder can be the most profound, because of its simplicity. She said that looking at all her faults does not help her change her ways. It is studying the opposite or the character of God that changes who we are. A verse I learned as a child came to mind. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added until you." It is scary to say this but in my neglect to spend quality time with God through a consistant prayer life and bible study, I have "refused" to worship God. The outcome--it has only darkened my sight allowing me to decieve myself that God is not big enough, mighty enough because He has not allowed what I would have Him do in and through my life. Do not be deceived in believing that because you have been a christian most of your life that you are no longer suseptible to stumble and get side tracked from the path God would have you take. "His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." It is my duty to maintain the oil in the lamp. The oil being Gods word. If it is not in me how am I too see the path? Thanks for the reminder Ash. I am humbled.

To Have Such Surrender...

What'ere Thy providence denies
I calmly would resign
For Thou art just and good and wise
O bend my will to Thine!

What'ere Thy sacred will ordains
O give me strength to bear;
And let me know my Father reigns
And trust His tender care

If cares and sorrows me surround
Their power why should I fear?
My inward peace they cannot wound
If Thou, God, art near.

~ Anne Steele

Change is in the Air...

I don't really know what to write. It has been some time since I have updated my blog. Summer is so full of activities and ministries. I don't know where one ends and the next begins. I can't wait till school starts...not for me...for my youth at church. They'll be so busy with homework, I'll finally have some time to breathe. Knowing me I'm sure I'll find something to take up that time.

I do have some wonderful news, I'll be visiting my folks at the end of this month. Everybody with be there. Christmas was the last time I saw everyone. I did talk to my neice Hannah last week. Mom and I tried to teach her to say Aunt Christa. All I could hear was "aaahh Tita". Close enough for me. This weekend my mother mentioned that there were some BSU ministry opportunities in Florida and then asked me if I had thought about moving closer to home. It was hard to answer her without tearing up. Although I love my family so very much, I feel that there is nothing for me there. I wish they would understand. They have been very supportive of me...the family is so spread out I guess they feel they are losing us. That will never happen. I keep trying to prioritize and consider why I am here. I have a great job, which given time will allow me in the near future to save and travel more. I don't know. The thought of possibily moving back to Florida has been on my mind, but everytime I think about it...I dread it. Sigh.

Ellie wonders: Do they really expect us to eat this stuff. Oh well, I'll humor these silly adults.  

My younger brother Daniel. Easy ladies. He's taken. 

The dotting Grandparents. My mommy and Daddy. 

Ellie...popping balloons... Trying anyway! 

Bubblesbubblesbubbles...my Bubbles! 

Making sure Auntie Christa gets her nourishment. Hmmmm Good! 

Ellie 

Hannah  

Is anybody watching me as I try to pop these balloon? 

The Gift of Nieces

It has been a while since I've had the opportunity to flee Louisville. Last weekend I made a break for it and travelled to St. Andrews State Park, Panama City, where I met up with my family to celebrate my twin, nieces, 2yr Birthday. I think the adults had more fun opening the presents then Hannah and Ellie. The first gift they opened was a bottle of bubbles and after that if you weren't doing bubbles they would not have anything to do with you. It was a perfect day. The sun was a shining, blue skys, 80 degress, crystal blue water and calm. Perrrrrfect! (Like Catwoman)I thought I'd share some of the pictures I took of the girls and St. Andrews. Now aren't these the cutest little girls you have ever seen. Sorry, but none are comparible and yes my opinion is a biased one.

BBBRRRRR!!! at Thunder!

Well this weekend is one that I am glad is OVER. It was very eventful and I think very constructive. The Thunder event went great. If you go to U of L and are looking for some great people to hook up with and to build strong relationships with, check out the BSU. Bill Noe is the Campus Minister. They are extremely involved with reaching the community for Christ and they are just a bunch of great people all around.

The only thing that I could see that needed improvement was the weather. But (glutious maximus) freezing! Brrrr! I was out there from 3p.m. till after the fireworks and then had to walk 30 minutes to get back to the car. I was so happy to crawl into my warm nest of a bed. I planned on being sick the next day so I didn't set my alarm. Wouldn't you know...my body was saying "wake up with the sun" at 7:30 a.m. AAARRGGG! Sometimes I'd like not to be a morning person. Sunday I was still feeling the cold from the day before. I go to a more traditional church, where you dress up and look your best. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater...bye bye. I didn't care what people thought. God is not impressed with your outward appearances. He's see the inward desires of your heart. Man, I need to start repenting. Sometimes I think getting all dressed up is just a distraction. Maybe we should look our worst when we go to church then maybe we'd fit the part. An outward demonstration for the benefit of our subconscious? Just a thought.

I was also in a very odd mood Sunday. I had a huge cloud over my head. If felt like my heart was being pressed to the squishing point. Lorie might not appreciate the word "squishing". She has this thing about words that relate to liquids or moist sounds or something. Weirdo. Anyway, have you ever known something to be spiritually wrong, desired to make things right according to scripture, but knew that whatever you said or did would cause a person to become disgruntled (Sp?). The pain I was feeling was so intense I wept half the day. I run sound for the worship services and one of the youths that help me out were like totally concerned, which was sweet, but I just couldn't control my emotions. I've probably scarred him for life. Tears were literally streaming down my face. I probably could have filled a jug. I was so distracted by examing my heart, (not a bad thing to do, in fact I need to be doing it more often) that I was unable to focus on the Sunday School Lesson, the sermon and any conversation that was taking place. My heart was just breaking: for my church, for individual people who I know are spiritually in a bad place, for myself in wanting to know what to do and to do it properly with the largest amount of kindness with the smallest amount of damage? I have, in the past, been blunt about what is right and quick to correct, not thinking about the consequences of my actions/words. I was speaking the truth but not in a loving manner. It was an, "I was right and you are wrong and that is that so fix it", attitude. I did finally talk with some of the leadership of my church. They were discerning enough to see how upset I really was. It didn't take much to finally share my hearts concern. They just asked, "So, How are you?",and the fake "happy to be at church mask" disintegrated into massive tears. I look back and am a little embarrassed. But then I think to myself, "Self, isn't that what we are supposed to do as Christians, to bear each others burdens, however heavy they might be. Isn't' that why we have pastors? Not only to preach and teach. We are to seek them out for sound counsel." They were very encouraging and comforting. They listened and informed me that I was no alone in my concerns. But not to be alarmed because they felt confident that thinks would, with patients, be rectified. They affirmed me when I told them what I felt I should do and that they would be praying with me as I seek how to phrase my words in love. I can tell you, my day went much better after sharing my heart. I wasn't carrying that burden alone. Some may say "Well, Christa, if you are a Christian then you are never alone." That is true. But when some conflict comes to face you can't just pray then sit on your hands and do nothing. When you ask God to do something, more than likely he'll end up using you as the catalist. You pray seeking guidance and then take action knowing that Christ is with you and will sustain you when you feel a little hopeless. So I make a request, that you would think of me in the next couple of days and remember me to God in prayer. This will give me much confidence, that I have an army of support. Thanks.

April Fools

Today is April fools and it has been just that. I truly believe in those mischievious critters we have come to call Grimlins. Those grosteque imps that climb into machinery and claw and chew so that we poor defenseless humans can't get our work done. AARRGGGGHH! Ah. I feel better. The only project I had going today was our monthly news letter. I have to program the computer to print, which is normally a 15 to 30 minute task, but for some reason it took 2 stinkin hours. Like I said, "Today is April fools." If something is going to go wrong, it will gone wrong. We finally got it finished and mailed. Yippee! Have you seen my blog lately. I am learning how to add photos. I'm so proud. (tear).

Grace Interceded

Goodmorning,

Now that the weather has warmed up, I have started a daily regimend of walking every morning before I go to work. It was a glorious morning. After living here for four years I have finally discovered the way to distinguish whether it will be a day to layer my clothing or step out for spring, even before I leave the nest of my bed. Would you like to know? It's for the birds. Now that I get up at a reasonable hour, with the sun and not before, I listen for song of the birds. If it is going to be a cold day, they do not chirp. If it is going to be a glorious day, such as today, they do chirp. I used to cringe at the sound, but I have learned to appreciate it because of the hope it brings, knowing how beautiful it will be.
Yesterday as I walked down the sidewalk, I observed the trees bending overhead. They were dull with old berries dropping to the ground, smearing as I trampled over them. Today as I walked beneath these same trees, I notice sprigs of fine green leaves peeking out to watch as the sun rose. For me, today was the first day of spring.
I love the fact that I can admire the changing seasons. In Florida, there is only one kind of tree, the palm, and one kind of weather, hold and humid. Mind you enjoy an occassional sunny day but I really do enjoy a variety. That really goes for everything in my life. Variety... especially lately. Recently I have graduated with my Master's degree, I have acquired a wonderfully fulfilling ministry position, I love working with the youth at my church, but there is still a feeling of ...something missing. I know for one I'd like to be sining more often then I do. That is a passion that needs reviving and secondly my social life...stinks. With graduation comes separation of friendships. Not the friendship it self, but the companionship one has with friends. Many of them have married, their jobs have taken them to far off places... it get a little lonely sometimes. Variety...that is something I really need. Variety of afterwork activities. But what should I do? I not one to go clubbing or dancing. I love watcing and listening to live music. Reading I haven't done some good reading in a long time, well nothing that wasn't required. I know this sounds like whinning, but at the same time it is helping me to see myself. If anything is going to come from this chat with myself, then it is up to me.

Here is a little something I'd like to share. Maybe I'll put it to music someday.

Gazing up from the depths of a well

The moons dim light replacing the sun

Time lost since last I turned to You

Trembling, hopeless, grasping at cobwebs

Freedom seemed fleeting

Breathe stolen from my desperate cry

But You heard my souls plea

Above the howling tempest

My unspoken request pride would not allow

With one word (Jesus) pride turned humble

My escape came swift, Grace did intercede.

Enjoy the day!

How Blessed are Those Whose Way is Blameless

"How blessed are those whose way is blameless,
Who walk in the law of the Lord." Psalm 119:1

When I read God's word, I like to look at it as a whole, break it down verse by verse and then see how I am or am not applying it to my life.

It's interesting how the writer of this Psalm chooses his words. I find so much meaning in just this one verse. Just take the words, "How blessed are those..." When we think of blessed, I guess what would first come to mind would be the thought of receiving something: a desired object, money, riches... But blessing in it's truest form means "happy" and not just any type of "happy". It's not the momentary happiness that we experience when we received our first bike. Eventually, we got tired of it, saw another one we liked better, left it out in the rain on purpose so mom and dad would get a new one, kind of momentary happiness. It is a happiness which exceeds our expectations, one that exceeds far into our future. It is not a momentary happiness but...constant with a value of inexchangablitiy...it is forever. That kind of happiness does not come from material objects which when this life is over, we can't take with us and in the end will return to the dust from whence it came.

"Blessed are those whose way is blameless..." The word "way", implies all aspects of my lifestyle. Not just, to many peoples surprise, your visible lifestyle. It includes the way in which you live your life behind closed doors. If I am known as a woman of integrity at my job and in my social circles but am living a life of ungodliness in my home, (watching pornography, movies, magazines), which by the way, has become extremely accessable. I was casually flipping through the mail and came across a Victoria Secrets mail order magazine. I was shocked at the poses these women were in. This was a womens magazine, but I felt lik I was reading a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Addition, not that I read those things. I mean come on ladies, don't leave your "Victoria Secrets" magazine lying around for your man to view. Those ladies are not posing for you. Anyway, eventually that lifestyle habit will leak into all aspects of my life. It will really mess me up! I look for example to the life of David. In II Samuel 11:1-2, it says, "Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servant with him and all Israel,..." In verse two is says, "Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king's house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance." At once you think, "He shouldn't be starring at that woman, that's sinful." But what sin brought him to that place. Going back to the first verse, where is it the king is supposed to be? " at the time when kings go into battle..." He's is supposed to be with his army, leading them to victory, suffering with them, setting the example for his people. But where was he while his armies were fighting, sleeping on the ground, wallowing in the mud and blood of the wounded and the dead. At home--in his lush spread. His first sin was laziness. Now, curiousity is not a sin, but lingering in a place where you know you shouldn't be, even if you are King, can lead to sin and the majority of the time, it will. Davids second sin was lust, which lead to adultery, lying, and murder. These sins did not just hurt Davids reputation as a King who followed God, but Bathsheba and the child that came from their sinful act. This innocent child became sick and died. That must have been very painful for the mother. But most importantly...the sinfullness of David's thoughts and actions caused a rift in his relationship with God. The one that chose him to be King, protected him from Saul and helped defeat his enemy's. That is how living two lifestyles will make you miserable, for eternity. I think that is why the writer used "way", singlular. There is to be only one way of living which will lead to eternal happiness. Thank God for his mercy and grace. He is a forgiving God, but that does not give us reason to continue in sin, nor does God desire such behavior.

"Blessed are those whose way is blameless...", with out spot or blemish. Blameless means not one person can come up to you and speak illy of your character. They might like to and if they did everyone would know it to be a lie. That means always being in the right place, so as not to have anyone question your motives or actions. It means always speaking the truth, not compromising yourself.

"Blessed are those whose way is blameless, Who walks in the law of the Lord." The second half of this verse is used to emphasis whos' way you are to be blamesless in. Gods' way, his laws. The 10 Commandments and the laws of God's very character. I guess that's what I'll talk about next time. God's character and how we as Christians , with his spirits help, can be more like him and experience that eternaly happiness even in the present.

Disclaimer: This blog is not an avenue to preach to or condemn those who disagree with my faith. I am by no means perfect in anyway. But I am confident that I have already received this happiness that the Psalmist speaks about. Have you? I write because it is a way in which I can express my thoughts. Writing for me is an outlet, it helps me keep things organized and in perspective, more for myself than anyone. But I'd love to hear any imput you might have. Peace be to you!

No Time Like Now

Something about me that may get on other peoples nerves: I like to delight in the little things. I mean little, rarely observed things. What, I suppose, could be the annoying factor, is that I tend to express my delight at odd, out of the blue, unexpected moments. It could be in the middle of a conversation, which could come across as rudeness for not paying more attention to my companions. But I say, those little delights need recognition. Who knows, it might turn out to be bigger delight than expected. Enjoy your day and take delight in all that you come in contact with. Even if it is a big hairy trucker. You never know.