BBBRRRRR!!! at Thunder!

Well this weekend is one that I am glad is OVER. It was very eventful and I think very constructive. The Thunder event went great. If you go to U of L and are looking for some great people to hook up with and to build strong relationships with, check out the BSU. Bill Noe is the Campus Minister. They are extremely involved with reaching the community for Christ and they are just a bunch of great people all around.

The only thing that I could see that needed improvement was the weather. But (glutious maximus) freezing! Brrrr! I was out there from 3p.m. till after the fireworks and then had to walk 30 minutes to get back to the car. I was so happy to crawl into my warm nest of a bed. I planned on being sick the next day so I didn't set my alarm. Wouldn't you know...my body was saying "wake up with the sun" at 7:30 a.m. AAARRGGG! Sometimes I'd like not to be a morning person. Sunday I was still feeling the cold from the day before. I go to a more traditional church, where you dress up and look your best. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater...bye bye. I didn't care what people thought. God is not impressed with your outward appearances. He's see the inward desires of your heart. Man, I need to start repenting. Sometimes I think getting all dressed up is just a distraction. Maybe we should look our worst when we go to church then maybe we'd fit the part. An outward demonstration for the benefit of our subconscious? Just a thought.

I was also in a very odd mood Sunday. I had a huge cloud over my head. If felt like my heart was being pressed to the squishing point. Lorie might not appreciate the word "squishing". She has this thing about words that relate to liquids or moist sounds or something. Weirdo. Anyway, have you ever known something to be spiritually wrong, desired to make things right according to scripture, but knew that whatever you said or did would cause a person to become disgruntled (Sp?). The pain I was feeling was so intense I wept half the day. I run sound for the worship services and one of the youths that help me out were like totally concerned, which was sweet, but I just couldn't control my emotions. I've probably scarred him for life. Tears were literally streaming down my face. I probably could have filled a jug. I was so distracted by examing my heart, (not a bad thing to do, in fact I need to be doing it more often) that I was unable to focus on the Sunday School Lesson, the sermon and any conversation that was taking place. My heart was just breaking: for my church, for individual people who I know are spiritually in a bad place, for myself in wanting to know what to do and to do it properly with the largest amount of kindness with the smallest amount of damage? I have, in the past, been blunt about what is right and quick to correct, not thinking about the consequences of my actions/words. I was speaking the truth but not in a loving manner. It was an, "I was right and you are wrong and that is that so fix it", attitude. I did finally talk with some of the leadership of my church. They were discerning enough to see how upset I really was. It didn't take much to finally share my hearts concern. They just asked, "So, How are you?",and the fake "happy to be at church mask" disintegrated into massive tears. I look back and am a little embarrassed. But then I think to myself, "Self, isn't that what we are supposed to do as Christians, to bear each others burdens, however heavy they might be. Isn't' that why we have pastors? Not only to preach and teach. We are to seek them out for sound counsel." They were very encouraging and comforting. They listened and informed me that I was no alone in my concerns. But not to be alarmed because they felt confident that thinks would, with patients, be rectified. They affirmed me when I told them what I felt I should do and that they would be praying with me as I seek how to phrase my words in love. I can tell you, my day went much better after sharing my heart. I wasn't carrying that burden alone. Some may say "Well, Christa, if you are a Christian then you are never alone." That is true. But when some conflict comes to face you can't just pray then sit on your hands and do nothing. When you ask God to do something, more than likely he'll end up using you as the catalist. You pray seeking guidance and then take action knowing that Christ is with you and will sustain you when you feel a little hopeless. So I make a request, that you would think of me in the next couple of days and remember me to God in prayer. This will give me much confidence, that I have an army of support. Thanks.